Can you imagine a world without numbers? I can’t. Numbers are ingrained in our lives. They mark time. They set up comparisons. They relay scale. They identify, and they symbolize. Whether we like them or not, they are here to stay. Numbers seek to find order and meaning in a sea of vagueness. They can do this… at least temporarily.
I latched onto numbers when my personal world was drowning in chaos and sorrow. I was desperately seeking to hold onto something to keep my head above the waters. However, time has no master, and eventually death will overtake all. I knew this in the beginning, and I know this now. Nothing has changed in these regards.
The numbers did enable me to escape the drowning feeling of sorrow that was over-taking me. The swirling chaos of emotions was threatening to take me down, and I needed something to hold onto. I grabbed onto a number chain, and I let it spin me around and around like a merry-go-round. This whirlwind of numbers made me release the pain, the demons, and the sorrow. In the end it helped me to see myself better, weaknesses and all. It helped me to see my priorities in a clearer light.
I am now able for the most part to step off the number spinner. Even though I never could stop the chaos of life, I am now ready to embrace it once again. Listening to my daughter’s music this morning, a feeling of joy came over me as I swayed my hips back and forth to the beat. I’ve been doing this more and more in recent days. The words “and hips don’t lie” keep going through my head.
movingforwardslowly 