I find myself slowly returning to the roots of my parent’s mind-set. They were both movers and shakers until illness overcame them. When they passed away they left no clutter or untended business for their surviving spouses to clean-up.
On the other hand, my mother-in-law had forty plus years of accumulated disorder left for my husband and I to tackle. Though, I don’t want to judge her because it is hard to keep disorder at bay. It takes discipline and daily attendance to keep the things going out equal to the things coming in. She had an attic full of unused products, no doubt purchased on sale.
Now that I am on summer break I’m assessing my closets and cabinets, and I’m realizing that I have many things I no longer use nor plan to use, and even some things I’ve never used nor plan to use. I have the time to bag them up and throw or give them away. I need to do this away from my husband’s eyes because he is always taking things out of my trash. Everything has another purpose in his mind. Recycling is in his blood, whereas I have to make a conscious effort.
We are both products of our upbringing and our parent’s modeling. However, twenty-seven years of marriage has had an impact on both of us.
I got weary of the daily struggle, working alone to move things out. My discipline suffered set-backs, and other tasks claimed my attention, and of course the modern escape of the internet was insidiously claiming more and more of my time.
My energy and will is returning. My desire to fight the tide of disorder is returning. I do have the wisdom of age to draw the line between what I can control and what I can’t. Hopefully over time I will be able to nudge my husband in the same direction. Our daughter will not be able to tackle our mess when we are gone.
movingforwardslowly 