As I listen to Nora Jones, Come Away with Me album, I am wondering where we could go.
I have been looking at old pictures of my garden over the years, and then looking out my kitchen window at the reality of my garden today. They are not the same by a long stretch.
I used to spend hour after hour out there lost in the heat and sweat, trying to create my fantasy garden. Back then I came very close to my ideal.
Today I cannot seem to resuscitate my old passion for gardening. I still love gardens, and I still love looking at fantasy gardens, I just don’t want to do it all by myself anymore. It was a lonely pursuit, and to tell you the truth, I was running away from my real life.
Yesterday, I finally went outside to do my first real garden work this season. This time I dragged my husband out there to help me. We pruned the laurel hedge that wraps around one side of our deck.
The pond today needs a lot of work to recreate the scene you see above. I am not sure I have it in me anymore. More importantly, I am not sure I care anymore. My care is needed inside these days. My priorities have shifted.
The people in my life need my time and attention now.
The fantasy garden that my soul needed back then held my hand and guided me through the hard times. Miraculously, after years of depression, and then mourning the death of my parents, I have come through it all, and I am now emotionally stronger than I have ever been.
My faith helps to hold me up. When I speak of faith, not only am I speaking about faith in an all powerful creator, but also a faith in myself to be able to connect with the gifts God has given me. I will continue to listen to his guidance. I will also continue to work with the reality in front of me.
If there is anyone out there reading this, I hope my story will encourage you to keep your faith in your ability to get through any hard times that your future might hold.
movingforwardslowly 